Masturbation

MasturbationMasturbation is the deliberate stimulation of one's own genitals to achieve sexual arousal and pleasure. It is done at least occasionally by a majority of both men and women. In one recent national study, 95 percent of men and 89 percent of women reported having masturbated. It is the first overt sexual act for the majority of men and women, although more women than men engage in sexual intercourse before they ever masturbate. Most men who masturbate tend to do so more often than women, and they are more likely to report always or usually experiencing orgasm when they masturbate (80 percent to 60 percent respectively). It is the second most common sexual behavior (coitus being first), even for those who have a regular sexual partner.
Most children - often from the time they are infants onward - find the occasional stimulation of their genitals sensually pleasing, but do not come to understand this behavior as "sexual" until late childhood or adolescence. During adolescence, the percentage of both sexes who report masturbating increases dramatically, especially for males. Most people continue to masturbate in adulthood, and many do so throughout their lives.

The term masturbation conjures up many myths about its damaging and debasing nature. Its negative images may be traced as far back as the word's Latin origin, masturbare, which is a combination of two Latin words, manus (hand) and stuprare (defile), thus "to defile with the hand." The built-in notion of shame and uncleanliness implied by the defiling portion of the word has remained in the modern translation - even though medical authorities have been in agreement for some time that masturbation causes no physical or mental harm. Nor is there any evidence that children who engage in self-stimulation are in any way harmed by it. 

The fact that this important source of sexual pleasure is still regarded by some with guilt and anxiety is partly due to ignorance of the fact that masturbation is not harmful and partly due to centuries of religious teaching that it is sinful. In addition, many of us have received negative messages about masturbation from our parents or have even been punished when caught masturbating as children. The cumulative effect of these influences is usually confusion and guilt that is often difficult to sort out. About the only time masturbation can be harmful is when it becomes compulsive. Compulsive masturbation, like all other compulsive behaviors, is a sign of an emotional problem and needs to be addressed by a mental health specialist. 

So, contrary to ancient and popular beliefs, masturbation does not lead to unbridled lust, does not make you blind or deaf, give you the flu, drive you crazy, grow hair on your hand, make you stutter, or kill you. Masturbation is a natural and harmless expression of sexuality in both men and women and a perfectly good way to experience sexual pleasure. In fact, some experts argue that masturbation improves sexual health by increasing an individual's understanding of his or her own body and of what is erotically pleasing, building self-confidence and fostering self-acceptance. This knowledge can then be carried forth to make for a more satisfying sexual relationship with one's partner, both through each partner's comfort with mutual masturbation, and because of the ability to tell each other what is most pleasing. It is a good idea for a couple to discuss their attitudes about masturbation and to calm any insecurities a partner may have if the other should sometimes favor masturbation over sexual intercourse. In some relationships, masturbation may be mutually acceptable. Done alone or in the presence of a partner, the act can be pleasing and add to mutual intimacy if it is not experienced as a rejection. Like most behaviors, without proper communication, the act of masturbation can be used as a sign of anger, alienation or displeasure with the way the relationship is progressing. 

Overcoming society's negative stereotypes and one's personal feelings about masturbation can allow men and women the freedom to explore and experience their own sexuality in a private, satisfying manner. One word of caution: in keeping with the practices of safer sex, masturbation with a partner can be an enjoyable alternative to intercourse, as long as you avoid contact with your partner's semen or vaginal fluids, especially if you have any cuts or open sores.

Bisexual & Asexual

Bisexuals are men and women who achieve sexual or erotic attraction to members of both sexes. Usually, but not always, the bisexual person engages in sexual activity with partners of both sexes. Slang terms referring to bisexuals are "AC/DC" (based on the term used to describe two types of electrical current), "switch-hitters" (a baseball term describing a batter who hits from either side of home plate depending on who's pitching), or people who "swing both ways" (another baseball phrase, but may also relate to swinging as sexual behavior).
Compared to heterosexuality and homosexuality, very little scientific study has been conducted on bisexuality. Based on the studies that have been done, it appears that bisexuals are not people whose orientation is fundamentally homosexual but who have some heterosexual sex on the side. Nor are they people whose orientation is fundamentally heterosexual but who enjoy homosexual sex on the side. Also, fundamentally, they are not people who, at one point in their lives, engage in sexual behavior with persons of one sex and then, at another point, engage in sexual behavior with persons of the other sex, although this pattern of sequential changes is sometimes called transitional bisexuality. Rather, bisexuals are people who are sexually attracted to persons of both sexes during the same general time period in their lives.

It is thought that people develop and experience bisexuality in a number of different ways. For some it begins as a form of experimentation that adds a spark to their sex lives, but it does not become the main arena of sexual activity. For others it is a deliberate choice to participate in whatever feels best at the moment. Three particular sets of circumstances have been thought to be conducive to bisexuality: (a) sexual experimentation in a relationship with a close friend is quite common among women and can also occur between two male friends or a male homosexual may develop a sexual relationship from a previously casual but friendly relationship with a woman. (b) Group sex is another avenue for bisexual experimentation. (c) Finally, some people adopt a bisexual philosophy as an outgrowth of a personal belief system. For instance, some women who have been active in the women's movement find they are drawn closer to other women by the experience and translate this closeness into sexual expression. 

Men who are bisexuals are likely to experience homosexual attraction and engage in homosexual experiences before they become aware of their bisexuality. For women, on the other hand, the trend is to experience heterosexuality first. 

Although persons with a bisexual orientation do not fit simply into any one mold, there are a few patterns that may apply to many bisexuals. Some men and women seem to alternate their choice of sex partners randomly, depending on availability and circumstances. Some have committed relationships in this fashion, seeking a partner of the alternative sex when the current relationship ends. In other cases, a bisexual person may have simultaneous relationships with a man and a woman. Affairs during a lasting relationship may also be used to express one's bisexual orientation. Most often, whichever of these patterns applies, people with bisexual orientation have a tendency toward more relationships with one gender than the other. 

Researchers who have studied female bisexuality note that some women who identify themselves as bisexual say that they have some emotional needs that are best met by men and others that are best met by women. Some bisexual men offered this explanation too, but much more often the male bisexual explains his sexual lifestyle in terms of a need for variety and creativity. 

People usually discover their bisexual orientation later in life than either heterosexuals or homosexuals. The majorities of people model the heterosexual lifestyle and drift into bisexual relationships without consciously thinking about it initially. Most individuals who discover their attraction to the same sex try to deny their interest and attempt to fit in with the more socially acceptable heterosexual lifestyle for a while. Usually by adolescence there is increasing internal conflict about their sexual preference that may not be fully resolved until adulthood. 

Because it is commonly thought that people are either heterosexual or homosexual, even by people with bisexual interests, these people seem to struggle for a longer period of time trying to conform to one lifestyle or the other. It is common for people to be well into their 20's or 30's before accepting their bisexual orientation. Society's definitions of what is normal, appropriate, right and natural have an enormous influence on how bisexual people feel about their sexual orientation. Given the negative bias toward bisexuality, it is not unusual for women and men with a bisexual orientation to feel alienated from and oppressed by both the heterosexual and homosexual communities. For them, this can raise serious questions about their sexual identity. Bisexual people have problems similar to those that homosexual people have in "coming out" and making their orientation known to family and friends 

Someone who is bisexual may often find it harder to start and maintain relationships than people of heterosexual or homosexual orientation. Because bisexual people are both different and often misunderstood, those who do not have a bisexual orientation may be rejecting or feel that a relationship with a bisexual person could not be valid or rewarding. Jealousy, which can be a problem in any relationship, is particularly likely in a relationship in which one partner is bisexual. If both partners are bisexual the possibilities for jealousy may be even greater. The threat of such widespread competition can be very stressful to a couple that is not secure in their relationship. 

There is much more to be learned about the nature of bisexuality and perhaps as bisexual people become more accepted in society, scientific studies will contribute new information to what is currently known. 

Asexual refers to the absence of sexual activity or a low level of sexual response. Sexual union of male and female germ cells (such as the sperm and ova in humans) is the means of reproduction that is standard among mammalian and many non-mammalian species. However, many organisms reproduce through asexual means, such as budding, spore formation, or fission. Organisms that produce through these means are sexless.
Asexuality can also refer to a lack of interest or involvement in sex in sexual species. The priesthood in a number of religions, for example, requires abstinence or even monasticism among its members. While individuals who participate in religious abstinence may have normal sexual interest, they are required to take a vow of abstinence. Over time, lack of involvement in sexual activity may lead to a considerable drop in sexual interest. Vows of abstinence may also be taken outside of the arena of organized religion, although these are usually situational and time limited. Disinterest in sex also may be due to a sexual dysfunction; that is, a psychological or organic condition that blocks normal sexual behaviors and responses. Specifically, in the case of complete disinterest in sex, the condition may be diagnosed as sexual desire disorder.

In sexual desire disorder the individual has a persistent absence of sexual fantasies or desire for engaging in sex. Further, the individual exhibits an intense aversion to either heterosexual or homosexual genital sexual contact. Additionally, persistent failure in sexual response may lead to the avoidance of sex or sexual situations. This can occur at any point in life but tends to occur more frequently among the elderly. These conditions can have an emotional origin, of varying severities, or they may have an organic cause. Often they are treatable through sex therapy and/or biomedical intervention. Intensive desire disorders, however, may reflect complicated psychological problems that are difficult to treat. In addition, some individuals may be biologically incapable of sexual interest or involvement in sexual activity and, although members of a sexual species, are themselves asexual. This, however, is a rare condition and most forms of sexual dysfunction respond to therapeutic intervention.

Anal Sex

Anal Sex is stimulation of the anus during sexual activity. It can be done in several different ways: manually, orally or by anal intercourse. Anal sex can be the primary form of sexual activity or it can accompany other types of stimulation. For instance, couples sometimes include manual stimulation of the anus (either lightly rubbing the rim or inserting a finger into the anus) during vaginal intercourse. Others use the tongue in a similar fashion for oral stimulation. Anal intercourse is the insertion of a man's penis into his partner's rectum. Although anal sex is often thought of as a strictly homosexual activity, many heterosexual couples enjoy it too.
Anal penetration can be pleasurable, but it can also be a source of physical discomfort. The muscle on the outside of the rectum, called the anal sphincter, ordinarily tightens if stimulated, which means that attempts at insertion of the penis, or even a finger, may be uncomfortable even if done slowly and gently. If penetration into the anus is forced, injury is possible. It is helpful to use a lubricant liberally and to relax and gradually dilate the sphincter by gentle manual stimulation before attempting penetration.

Some people clear the rectum with a small disposable enema before anal intercourse. Because the rectum contains infection causing bacteria, anything (fingers, objects, penis) that has had contact with the anus should not subsequently be in contact with the vagina or mouth until it has been thoroughly washed. 

Some people have strong negative attitudes toward anal sex, whether it takes place between homosexual or heterosexual couples. They may think of it as being unclean, unnatural, perverted, disgusting, or simply unappealing. It is sometimes regarded as the ultimate in depravity and has regularly been condemned by religious and secular authorities. Historically, religious objections originate from the fact that a woman cannot possibly get pregnant through anal sex, as some religions only approved of sexual intercourse for the purpose of reproduction. 

Anal sex is subject to legal restrictions in some states, even between married couples. In general these statutes refer to anal sex acts as "crimes against nature", going back to the view that heterosexual intercourse, with its reproductive potential, is the only natural, healthy, non-sinful way of having sexual relations. These laws are strongly biased toward the prosecution of homosexuals because penetrative anal sex is far more common among gay men than it is among heterosexual couples. 

Despite religious and legal prohibitions to anal sex, many people, regardless of their sexual orientation, have engaged in anal sex and found it pleasurable. They regard it as a legitimate form of sexual expression and as one of the fulfilling ways in which people can express their desire and affection for each other. It is up to each couple to decide what is acceptable and enjoyable for them. If a couple's attitudes or values make anal sex unacceptable, or if they do not enjoy it, they should feel no pressure to engage in it. 

It is important to note that HIV, the virus causing AIDS, can be transmitted through anal sex, especially anal intercourse. In fact, the risk of HIV transmission is greater than it is in vaginal intercourse because the lining of the rectum tears more easily than the vagina does. The resulting skin breaks and bleeding increase the possibility of the transmission of bodily fluids containing the virus that causes AIDS. For those who choose to engage in either vaginal or anal penetrative sexual acts, using latex condoms is the best means of reducing the likelihood of HIV transmission.

Oral Sex

Oral Sex or oral-genital sex means both mouth contact with the vagina, which is called cunnilingus, and mouth contact with the penis, which is called fellatio. Cunnilingus comes from a Latin word for vulva (a woman's exterior sex organs), cunnus, and from the Latin word for licking, lingere. Fellatio comes from the Latin word fellare, meaning to suck. Either form of oral sex can be done with one partner stimulating the other individually, or both partners can stimulate each other's genitals simultaneously. Oral sex given simultaneously is commonly called 69, or, the French translation, soixante-neuf. This is because the body position of a couple having mutual oral sex resembles the numeral 69.
Cunnilingus and fellatio are common sexual behaviors for both same sex couples and couples of different sexes. There are various combinations of positions and techniques used in oral sex, but it is the mouth and tongue that provide the pleasure in all cases. Kissing, licking, sucking and nibbling can feel good anywhere on the genitals of both men and women. The pressure (light, firm, and in between), speed (fast, slow, or changing), and the type of motion used can be varied endlessly to produce different sensations. In both practices, the warm, moist feeling of the mouth and the tongue on the genitals can be very erotic. Some enjoy a teasing, stop-start approach, while others prefer a more steady type of stimulation. In one fellatio technique, known as the Snaky-Lick Trick, the "trick" is to tease the underside of the penis head almost imperceptibly with the very tip of the tongue, just making ever so slight tongue contact with this sensitive area in one light upward lick, and then backing off for about fifteen seconds between each lick. This trick has been said to result in a powerful ejaculation in a very short time. Other methods of fellatio include sucking the glans or shaft of the penis by engulfing it in the mouth, licking at various parts of the penis and scrotum, or nibbling anywhere along the genitals. Many men enjoy having the scrotum lightly stroked during fellatio and the area just beneath the scrotum is often quite sensitive to touch or oral massage.

Some people are uncomfortable performing fellatio because they have a sensation of gagging when they take the erect penis into their mouth. This real physiological event, known as the gag reflex, is triggered by pressure at the back of the tongue or in the throat. If a man, in his excited state, pushes his penis too far into his partner's mouth, the gag reflex may take over. One way to avoid this problem is for the person giving the oral sex to grasp the penis along the shaft to control how much of it enters the mouth. Another common objection to fellatio is having the man ejaculate in his partner's mouth. A couple can agree in advance to have the man remove his penis from his partner's mouth before ejaculation. Others don't mind. They either rinse the ejaculate from their mouth right away or they swallow it. The ejaculate, on average about 4 cc, consists of proteins and sugars and reportedly contains less than 36 calories. 

Cunnilingus, like fellatio, can be performed in many ways. Women's preferences vary, but commonly enjoyed techniques include gentle tongue movements over the clitoris, more rapid, focused licking, or sucking the clitoris either gently or in a rougher fashion. Other forms that women enjoy are oral stimulation of the clitoris combined with fingering of the vagina; licking and kissing of the lips just outside the vagina; having the tongue thrust in and out of the vaginal opening; and having the clitoris stimulated by hand (her own or her partner's) while oral stimulation is directed at other parts of the genitals. 

Not everyone has or enjoys oral sex. Many people who try it enjoy oral sex, but others have reservations about it. These reservations tend to fall into three arenas: first, that oral sex is unhygienic; second, that there is a taboo against it; third, that it is not a true expression of femininity or masculinity. 

With regard to the matter of hygiene and oral sex, neither vaginal fluid nor semen is harmful in any way. This of course is true only in persons who are not infected with a sexually transmitted disease (STD). Everyone should be sure that they themselves and their partners are free from STDs before engaging in any sexual activity. No disease can be passed by oral sex that wouldn't be transmitted by any other kind of sex. If one partner has a STD the other is likely to catch it whatever they do together sexually. In short, oral sex between healthy people is safe and clean. Another hygiene aspect that concerns some people is genital odor. Simply washing the genitals is sufficient to prepare you for any sex, including oral sex. It is not necessary for women to douche before having oral sex, but some women choose to do so. However, douching can wash away the helpful bacteria that naturally protect the vagina. In addition to a man's natural genital odors, the genitals often take on the smells of recently eaten foods. As with women, thorough washing can reduce this odor, and besides, many people find some degree of genital odor in their partner stimulating. 

The notion that oral sex is taboo discourages some people from ever trying it. Oral sex has long been frowned upon and often deemed illegal. The basis for the social disapproval and legal restrictions lies in age-old religious prohibitions, which to some are still very powerful. People who accept and practice almost any of the major Western religions can therefore feel confused and guilty about engaging in oral sex, despite their knowledge that it is a safe and appropriate form of sexual expression. In the end, each individual must decide for him or her self whether to stick to the teachings of his or her religion or to act in favor of what seems personally right for them. 

For some people, the issue is not conflict with their religious beliefs as much as it is a belief that it somehow compromises their masculinity or femininity. Some people incorrectly think that cunnilingus and fellatio are homosexual acts, even if experienced by heterosexual couples. While homosexual couples do engage in oral sex, so do a majority of heterosexual couples. The activity itself is neither homosexual nor heterosexual. Apart form the misconception about oral sex and homosexuality, women sometimes feel that performing oral sex can make them feel submissive, as if they are giving a service and are thereby inferior. Men sometimes feel that performing oral sex on their partner reduces their masculinity because their penis is not involved. Couples should openly discuss these issues, and if necessary seek the help of a qualified therapist. 

Fortunately, many people are free of negative feelings about oral sex and have chosen to include it in their sexual repertoire. However, it is just as okay to choose not to participate in oral sex as it is to do so. Oral sex, just like any other sexual behavior, is a matter of personal preference.

Can a virgin use tampons without tampering the Hymen ?

Yes, they use tampons.You practice putting in the tampon by first using the skinniest-sized tampon -- "slender" or "slim." Also dab a bit of water-based lube on the outside of the tampon to make the "sliding in" easier. Using a tampon is a two-step process: you slide in the applicator and then "push the plunger," thereby inserting the tampon. You could practice guiding in the tampon first, without pushing the "plunger," so that you can practice finding the place and angle for insertion. As for breaking or not breaking the hymen is it important to you. Is it important that you have an intact hymen? Are religious reasons involved? Or cultural reasons? Or curiosity? Hymens come in various shapes and designs. If your hymen is still intact and shaped like a person-hole cover, or a septum (a thin line of skin which divides the center of the vaginal opening, as does the septum of our nose), then this thin membrane of skin may stretch or break. On the other hand, if you have a hymen shaped like a crescent moon around the bottom or side of the vaginal opening, then tampons may not interfere at all.

 Interestingly, not all women are born with hymens, and hymens can break without women knowing it. Strenuous activities, such as bicycle riding, horseback riding, stretching, or dancing, can also cause the hymen to break. Lastly, a woman's hymen could have already been broken or stretched by sexual activity, even if she has not had a penis inside of her.

Optimal times for conceiving

Women tend to ovulate mid-cycle; however, it is more accurate to say that they ovulate fourteen days before menstruation. Women have been known to ovulate at any time during their cycle, including during menstruation, although this is unusual. In terms of conception, fertility depends on three factors: a healthy egg, healthy sperm, and favorable cervical mucus. A woman ovulates once a cycle. The egg lives twelve to twenty-four hours and then disintegrates if not fertilized. Under favorable cervical mucus conditions (cervical mucus nourishes and guides the sperm, which would otherwise die in about a half-hour or never reach the egg), sperm can survive as long as five days within the body.

The symptothermal method of fertility awareness is the most exact way to determine the best times for conception. This method has two parts: 1) before a woman ovulates, mucus observations are combined with predictions based on past cycle history (using a calendar calculation), and 2) to confirm ovulation, changes in basal body temperature are combined with cervical mucus observations.

Homosexuality: Being Gay or Lesbian

It's hard to be different in our culture. We have pressure all around us to be like everyone else. Even though it may seem like everyone is sexually attracted to the opposite sex, this is not true. Some people are homosexual: they are attracted to people of the same sex. In some countries like Canada and the United States, there are gay men and lesbians in every occupation, leading successful lives.

When most of a person's sexual thoughts and activities are about people of the same sex, this person may be homosexual. Women who are sexually attracted to other women are called lesbians. Some people use the word "gay" to include both male and female homosexuals, but usually it is used for men only. People who are sexually attracted to members of the opposite sex are heterosexual, sometimes called "straight". Some people are attracted to both people of the same sex and the opposite sex; these people are bisexual.

People may feel strongly attracted to a person of the same sex. Someone can think and fantasize about people of the same sex without necessarily being homosexual. Young people, especially, need to explore their feelings.

Just because you are attracted to a person does not mean that you have to have sex with them. You may admire the person and or have a loving, caring, sharing relationship without sex. You do not have to be sexual with anyone until you are ready.

The stereotypes of homosexuals on television or in movies bother many people. Most gays and lesbians do not look or act any different from anyone else.
We do not know why people are heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. There are many theories but no clear answers. Many people have sexual fantasies about both sexes, and sometimes feel confused about whether they are gay or straight. With time and sometimes help from others, most people can sort out their feelings and sexual orientation.

If you think that you are gay or lesbian, it may be hard to tell others about your sexuality. You may feel afraid of losing friends or family members or your job. However, it may be a huge relief to tell even one person. But don't rush into it. Tell someone you really trust. And remember that it may take time for people to adjust and to deal with the news.

"Coming out" or telling others that you are homosexual is a life-long process; it's never finished. As you become more self- confident it will be easier to tell others. There might be support groups that you can join in your community.

If you are a parent or a friend of someone who has told you they are homosexual, you might feel disappointed, upset or worried. Try to deal with the news in a way which tells the person that you still love them and care for them. As a parent, you may have plans for your child's life, and this wasn't part of your plans. But being gay or lesbian isn't bad. Homosexuals are not sick and they don't need to change or be cured. It is important to support your child or friend now. That person trusts and respects you enough to confide in you. They need you. Your love and understanding will help them accept themselves as they are.

There are books on this subject. It may help to talk to someone you trust.You can also call a local Planned Parenthood organization or Public Health Unit.