Masturbation

MasturbationMasturbation is the deliberate stimulation of one's own genitals to achieve sexual arousal and pleasure. It is done at least occasionally by a majority of both men and women. In one recent national study, 95 percent of men and 89 percent of women reported having masturbated. It is the first overt sexual act for the majority of men and women, although more women than men engage in sexual intercourse before they ever masturbate. Most men who masturbate tend to do so more often than women, and they are more likely to report always or usually experiencing orgasm when they masturbate (80 percent to 60 percent respectively). It is the second most common sexual behavior (coitus being first), even for those who have a regular sexual partner.
Most children - often from the time they are infants onward - find the occasional stimulation of their genitals sensually pleasing, but do not come to understand this behavior as "sexual" until late childhood or adolescence. During adolescence, the percentage of both sexes who report masturbating increases dramatically, especially for males. Most people continue to masturbate in adulthood, and many do so throughout their lives.

The term masturbation conjures up many myths about its damaging and debasing nature. Its negative images may be traced as far back as the word's Latin origin, masturbare, which is a combination of two Latin words, manus (hand) and stuprare (defile), thus "to defile with the hand." The built-in notion of shame and uncleanliness implied by the defiling portion of the word has remained in the modern translation - even though medical authorities have been in agreement for some time that masturbation causes no physical or mental harm. Nor is there any evidence that children who engage in self-stimulation are in any way harmed by it. 

The fact that this important source of sexual pleasure is still regarded by some with guilt and anxiety is partly due to ignorance of the fact that masturbation is not harmful and partly due to centuries of religious teaching that it is sinful. In addition, many of us have received negative messages about masturbation from our parents or have even been punished when caught masturbating as children. The cumulative effect of these influences is usually confusion and guilt that is often difficult to sort out. About the only time masturbation can be harmful is when it becomes compulsive. Compulsive masturbation, like all other compulsive behaviors, is a sign of an emotional problem and needs to be addressed by a mental health specialist. 

So, contrary to ancient and popular beliefs, masturbation does not lead to unbridled lust, does not make you blind or deaf, give you the flu, drive you crazy, grow hair on your hand, make you stutter, or kill you. Masturbation is a natural and harmless expression of sexuality in both men and women and a perfectly good way to experience sexual pleasure. In fact, some experts argue that masturbation improves sexual health by increasing an individual's understanding of his or her own body and of what is erotically pleasing, building self-confidence and fostering self-acceptance. This knowledge can then be carried forth to make for a more satisfying sexual relationship with one's partner, both through each partner's comfort with mutual masturbation, and because of the ability to tell each other what is most pleasing. It is a good idea for a couple to discuss their attitudes about masturbation and to calm any insecurities a partner may have if the other should sometimes favor masturbation over sexual intercourse. In some relationships, masturbation may be mutually acceptable. Done alone or in the presence of a partner, the act can be pleasing and add to mutual intimacy if it is not experienced as a rejection. Like most behaviors, without proper communication, the act of masturbation can be used as a sign of anger, alienation or displeasure with the way the relationship is progressing. 

Overcoming society's negative stereotypes and one's personal feelings about masturbation can allow men and women the freedom to explore and experience their own sexuality in a private, satisfying manner. One word of caution: in keeping with the practices of safer sex, masturbation with a partner can be an enjoyable alternative to intercourse, as long as you avoid contact with your partner's semen or vaginal fluids, especially if you have any cuts or open sores.

Bisexual & Asexual

Bisexuals are men and women who achieve sexual or erotic attraction to members of both sexes. Usually, but not always, the bisexual person engages in sexual activity with partners of both sexes. Slang terms referring to bisexuals are "AC/DC" (based on the term used to describe two types of electrical current), "switch-hitters" (a baseball term describing a batter who hits from either side of home plate depending on who's pitching), or people who "swing both ways" (another baseball phrase, but may also relate to swinging as sexual behavior).
Compared to heterosexuality and homosexuality, very little scientific study has been conducted on bisexuality. Based on the studies that have been done, it appears that bisexuals are not people whose orientation is fundamentally homosexual but who have some heterosexual sex on the side. Nor are they people whose orientation is fundamentally heterosexual but who enjoy homosexual sex on the side. Also, fundamentally, they are not people who, at one point in their lives, engage in sexual behavior with persons of one sex and then, at another point, engage in sexual behavior with persons of the other sex, although this pattern of sequential changes is sometimes called transitional bisexuality. Rather, bisexuals are people who are sexually attracted to persons of both sexes during the same general time period in their lives.

It is thought that people develop and experience bisexuality in a number of different ways. For some it begins as a form of experimentation that adds a spark to their sex lives, but it does not become the main arena of sexual activity. For others it is a deliberate choice to participate in whatever feels best at the moment. Three particular sets of circumstances have been thought to be conducive to bisexuality: (a) sexual experimentation in a relationship with a close friend is quite common among women and can also occur between two male friends or a male homosexual may develop a sexual relationship from a previously casual but friendly relationship with a woman. (b) Group sex is another avenue for bisexual experimentation. (c) Finally, some people adopt a bisexual philosophy as an outgrowth of a personal belief system. For instance, some women who have been active in the women's movement find they are drawn closer to other women by the experience and translate this closeness into sexual expression. 

Men who are bisexuals are likely to experience homosexual attraction and engage in homosexual experiences before they become aware of their bisexuality. For women, on the other hand, the trend is to experience heterosexuality first. 

Although persons with a bisexual orientation do not fit simply into any one mold, there are a few patterns that may apply to many bisexuals. Some men and women seem to alternate their choice of sex partners randomly, depending on availability and circumstances. Some have committed relationships in this fashion, seeking a partner of the alternative sex when the current relationship ends. In other cases, a bisexual person may have simultaneous relationships with a man and a woman. Affairs during a lasting relationship may also be used to express one's bisexual orientation. Most often, whichever of these patterns applies, people with bisexual orientation have a tendency toward more relationships with one gender than the other. 

Researchers who have studied female bisexuality note that some women who identify themselves as bisexual say that they have some emotional needs that are best met by men and others that are best met by women. Some bisexual men offered this explanation too, but much more often the male bisexual explains his sexual lifestyle in terms of a need for variety and creativity. 

People usually discover their bisexual orientation later in life than either heterosexuals or homosexuals. The majorities of people model the heterosexual lifestyle and drift into bisexual relationships without consciously thinking about it initially. Most individuals who discover their attraction to the same sex try to deny their interest and attempt to fit in with the more socially acceptable heterosexual lifestyle for a while. Usually by adolescence there is increasing internal conflict about their sexual preference that may not be fully resolved until adulthood. 

Because it is commonly thought that people are either heterosexual or homosexual, even by people with bisexual interests, these people seem to struggle for a longer period of time trying to conform to one lifestyle or the other. It is common for people to be well into their 20's or 30's before accepting their bisexual orientation. Society's definitions of what is normal, appropriate, right and natural have an enormous influence on how bisexual people feel about their sexual orientation. Given the negative bias toward bisexuality, it is not unusual for women and men with a bisexual orientation to feel alienated from and oppressed by both the heterosexual and homosexual communities. For them, this can raise serious questions about their sexual identity. Bisexual people have problems similar to those that homosexual people have in "coming out" and making their orientation known to family and friends 

Someone who is bisexual may often find it harder to start and maintain relationships than people of heterosexual or homosexual orientation. Because bisexual people are both different and often misunderstood, those who do not have a bisexual orientation may be rejecting or feel that a relationship with a bisexual person could not be valid or rewarding. Jealousy, which can be a problem in any relationship, is particularly likely in a relationship in which one partner is bisexual. If both partners are bisexual the possibilities for jealousy may be even greater. The threat of such widespread competition can be very stressful to a couple that is not secure in their relationship. 

There is much more to be learned about the nature of bisexuality and perhaps as bisexual people become more accepted in society, scientific studies will contribute new information to what is currently known. 

Asexual refers to the absence of sexual activity or a low level of sexual response. Sexual union of male and female germ cells (such as the sperm and ova in humans) is the means of reproduction that is standard among mammalian and many non-mammalian species. However, many organisms reproduce through asexual means, such as budding, spore formation, or fission. Organisms that produce through these means are sexless.
Asexuality can also refer to a lack of interest or involvement in sex in sexual species. The priesthood in a number of religions, for example, requires abstinence or even monasticism among its members. While individuals who participate in religious abstinence may have normal sexual interest, they are required to take a vow of abstinence. Over time, lack of involvement in sexual activity may lead to a considerable drop in sexual interest. Vows of abstinence may also be taken outside of the arena of organized religion, although these are usually situational and time limited. Disinterest in sex also may be due to a sexual dysfunction; that is, a psychological or organic condition that blocks normal sexual behaviors and responses. Specifically, in the case of complete disinterest in sex, the condition may be diagnosed as sexual desire disorder.

In sexual desire disorder the individual has a persistent absence of sexual fantasies or desire for engaging in sex. Further, the individual exhibits an intense aversion to either heterosexual or homosexual genital sexual contact. Additionally, persistent failure in sexual response may lead to the avoidance of sex or sexual situations. This can occur at any point in life but tends to occur more frequently among the elderly. These conditions can have an emotional origin, of varying severities, or they may have an organic cause. Often they are treatable through sex therapy and/or biomedical intervention. Intensive desire disorders, however, may reflect complicated psychological problems that are difficult to treat. In addition, some individuals may be biologically incapable of sexual interest or involvement in sexual activity and, although members of a sexual species, are themselves asexual. This, however, is a rare condition and most forms of sexual dysfunction respond to therapeutic intervention.

Anal Sex

Anal Sex is stimulation of the anus during sexual activity. It can be done in several different ways: manually, orally or by anal intercourse. Anal sex can be the primary form of sexual activity or it can accompany other types of stimulation. For instance, couples sometimes include manual stimulation of the anus (either lightly rubbing the rim or inserting a finger into the anus) during vaginal intercourse. Others use the tongue in a similar fashion for oral stimulation. Anal intercourse is the insertion of a man's penis into his partner's rectum. Although anal sex is often thought of as a strictly homosexual activity, many heterosexual couples enjoy it too.
Anal penetration can be pleasurable, but it can also be a source of physical discomfort. The muscle on the outside of the rectum, called the anal sphincter, ordinarily tightens if stimulated, which means that attempts at insertion of the penis, or even a finger, may be uncomfortable even if done slowly and gently. If penetration into the anus is forced, injury is possible. It is helpful to use a lubricant liberally and to relax and gradually dilate the sphincter by gentle manual stimulation before attempting penetration.

Some people clear the rectum with a small disposable enema before anal intercourse. Because the rectum contains infection causing bacteria, anything (fingers, objects, penis) that has had contact with the anus should not subsequently be in contact with the vagina or mouth until it has been thoroughly washed. 

Some people have strong negative attitudes toward anal sex, whether it takes place between homosexual or heterosexual couples. They may think of it as being unclean, unnatural, perverted, disgusting, or simply unappealing. It is sometimes regarded as the ultimate in depravity and has regularly been condemned by religious and secular authorities. Historically, religious objections originate from the fact that a woman cannot possibly get pregnant through anal sex, as some religions only approved of sexual intercourse for the purpose of reproduction. 

Anal sex is subject to legal restrictions in some states, even between married couples. In general these statutes refer to anal sex acts as "crimes against nature", going back to the view that heterosexual intercourse, with its reproductive potential, is the only natural, healthy, non-sinful way of having sexual relations. These laws are strongly biased toward the prosecution of homosexuals because penetrative anal sex is far more common among gay men than it is among heterosexual couples. 

Despite religious and legal prohibitions to anal sex, many people, regardless of their sexual orientation, have engaged in anal sex and found it pleasurable. They regard it as a legitimate form of sexual expression and as one of the fulfilling ways in which people can express their desire and affection for each other. It is up to each couple to decide what is acceptable and enjoyable for them. If a couple's attitudes or values make anal sex unacceptable, or if they do not enjoy it, they should feel no pressure to engage in it. 

It is important to note that HIV, the virus causing AIDS, can be transmitted through anal sex, especially anal intercourse. In fact, the risk of HIV transmission is greater than it is in vaginal intercourse because the lining of the rectum tears more easily than the vagina does. The resulting skin breaks and bleeding increase the possibility of the transmission of bodily fluids containing the virus that causes AIDS. For those who choose to engage in either vaginal or anal penetrative sexual acts, using latex condoms is the best means of reducing the likelihood of HIV transmission.

Oral Sex

Oral Sex or oral-genital sex means both mouth contact with the vagina, which is called cunnilingus, and mouth contact with the penis, which is called fellatio. Cunnilingus comes from a Latin word for vulva (a woman's exterior sex organs), cunnus, and from the Latin word for licking, lingere. Fellatio comes from the Latin word fellare, meaning to suck. Either form of oral sex can be done with one partner stimulating the other individually, or both partners can stimulate each other's genitals simultaneously. Oral sex given simultaneously is commonly called 69, or, the French translation, soixante-neuf. This is because the body position of a couple having mutual oral sex resembles the numeral 69.
Cunnilingus and fellatio are common sexual behaviors for both same sex couples and couples of different sexes. There are various combinations of positions and techniques used in oral sex, but it is the mouth and tongue that provide the pleasure in all cases. Kissing, licking, sucking and nibbling can feel good anywhere on the genitals of both men and women. The pressure (light, firm, and in between), speed (fast, slow, or changing), and the type of motion used can be varied endlessly to produce different sensations. In both practices, the warm, moist feeling of the mouth and the tongue on the genitals can be very erotic. Some enjoy a teasing, stop-start approach, while others prefer a more steady type of stimulation. In one fellatio technique, known as the Snaky-Lick Trick, the "trick" is to tease the underside of the penis head almost imperceptibly with the very tip of the tongue, just making ever so slight tongue contact with this sensitive area in one light upward lick, and then backing off for about fifteen seconds between each lick. This trick has been said to result in a powerful ejaculation in a very short time. Other methods of fellatio include sucking the glans or shaft of the penis by engulfing it in the mouth, licking at various parts of the penis and scrotum, or nibbling anywhere along the genitals. Many men enjoy having the scrotum lightly stroked during fellatio and the area just beneath the scrotum is often quite sensitive to touch or oral massage.

Some people are uncomfortable performing fellatio because they have a sensation of gagging when they take the erect penis into their mouth. This real physiological event, known as the gag reflex, is triggered by pressure at the back of the tongue or in the throat. If a man, in his excited state, pushes his penis too far into his partner's mouth, the gag reflex may take over. One way to avoid this problem is for the person giving the oral sex to grasp the penis along the shaft to control how much of it enters the mouth. Another common objection to fellatio is having the man ejaculate in his partner's mouth. A couple can agree in advance to have the man remove his penis from his partner's mouth before ejaculation. Others don't mind. They either rinse the ejaculate from their mouth right away or they swallow it. The ejaculate, on average about 4 cc, consists of proteins and sugars and reportedly contains less than 36 calories. 

Cunnilingus, like fellatio, can be performed in many ways. Women's preferences vary, but commonly enjoyed techniques include gentle tongue movements over the clitoris, more rapid, focused licking, or sucking the clitoris either gently or in a rougher fashion. Other forms that women enjoy are oral stimulation of the clitoris combined with fingering of the vagina; licking and kissing of the lips just outside the vagina; having the tongue thrust in and out of the vaginal opening; and having the clitoris stimulated by hand (her own or her partner's) while oral stimulation is directed at other parts of the genitals. 

Not everyone has or enjoys oral sex. Many people who try it enjoy oral sex, but others have reservations about it. These reservations tend to fall into three arenas: first, that oral sex is unhygienic; second, that there is a taboo against it; third, that it is not a true expression of femininity or masculinity. 

With regard to the matter of hygiene and oral sex, neither vaginal fluid nor semen is harmful in any way. This of course is true only in persons who are not infected with a sexually transmitted disease (STD). Everyone should be sure that they themselves and their partners are free from STDs before engaging in any sexual activity. No disease can be passed by oral sex that wouldn't be transmitted by any other kind of sex. If one partner has a STD the other is likely to catch it whatever they do together sexually. In short, oral sex between healthy people is safe and clean. Another hygiene aspect that concerns some people is genital odor. Simply washing the genitals is sufficient to prepare you for any sex, including oral sex. It is not necessary for women to douche before having oral sex, but some women choose to do so. However, douching can wash away the helpful bacteria that naturally protect the vagina. In addition to a man's natural genital odors, the genitals often take on the smells of recently eaten foods. As with women, thorough washing can reduce this odor, and besides, many people find some degree of genital odor in their partner stimulating. 

The notion that oral sex is taboo discourages some people from ever trying it. Oral sex has long been frowned upon and often deemed illegal. The basis for the social disapproval and legal restrictions lies in age-old religious prohibitions, which to some are still very powerful. People who accept and practice almost any of the major Western religions can therefore feel confused and guilty about engaging in oral sex, despite their knowledge that it is a safe and appropriate form of sexual expression. In the end, each individual must decide for him or her self whether to stick to the teachings of his or her religion or to act in favor of what seems personally right for them. 

For some people, the issue is not conflict with their religious beliefs as much as it is a belief that it somehow compromises their masculinity or femininity. Some people incorrectly think that cunnilingus and fellatio are homosexual acts, even if experienced by heterosexual couples. While homosexual couples do engage in oral sex, so do a majority of heterosexual couples. The activity itself is neither homosexual nor heterosexual. Apart form the misconception about oral sex and homosexuality, women sometimes feel that performing oral sex can make them feel submissive, as if they are giving a service and are thereby inferior. Men sometimes feel that performing oral sex on their partner reduces their masculinity because their penis is not involved. Couples should openly discuss these issues, and if necessary seek the help of a qualified therapist. 

Fortunately, many people are free of negative feelings about oral sex and have chosen to include it in their sexual repertoire. However, it is just as okay to choose not to participate in oral sex as it is to do so. Oral sex, just like any other sexual behavior, is a matter of personal preference.

Can a virgin use tampons without tampering the Hymen ?

Yes, they use tampons.You practice putting in the tampon by first using the skinniest-sized tampon -- "slender" or "slim." Also dab a bit of water-based lube on the outside of the tampon to make the "sliding in" easier. Using a tampon is a two-step process: you slide in the applicator and then "push the plunger," thereby inserting the tampon. You could practice guiding in the tampon first, without pushing the "plunger," so that you can practice finding the place and angle for insertion. As for breaking or not breaking the hymen is it important to you. Is it important that you have an intact hymen? Are religious reasons involved? Or cultural reasons? Or curiosity? Hymens come in various shapes and designs. If your hymen is still intact and shaped like a person-hole cover, or a septum (a thin line of skin which divides the center of the vaginal opening, as does the septum of our nose), then this thin membrane of skin may stretch or break. On the other hand, if you have a hymen shaped like a crescent moon around the bottom or side of the vaginal opening, then tampons may not interfere at all.

 Interestingly, not all women are born with hymens, and hymens can break without women knowing it. Strenuous activities, such as bicycle riding, horseback riding, stretching, or dancing, can also cause the hymen to break. Lastly, a woman's hymen could have already been broken or stretched by sexual activity, even if she has not had a penis inside of her.

Optimal times for conceiving

Women tend to ovulate mid-cycle; however, it is more accurate to say that they ovulate fourteen days before menstruation. Women have been known to ovulate at any time during their cycle, including during menstruation, although this is unusual. In terms of conception, fertility depends on three factors: a healthy egg, healthy sperm, and favorable cervical mucus. A woman ovulates once a cycle. The egg lives twelve to twenty-four hours and then disintegrates if not fertilized. Under favorable cervical mucus conditions (cervical mucus nourishes and guides the sperm, which would otherwise die in about a half-hour or never reach the egg), sperm can survive as long as five days within the body.

The symptothermal method of fertility awareness is the most exact way to determine the best times for conception. This method has two parts: 1) before a woman ovulates, mucus observations are combined with predictions based on past cycle history (using a calendar calculation), and 2) to confirm ovulation, changes in basal body temperature are combined with cervical mucus observations.

Homosexuality: Being Gay or Lesbian

It's hard to be different in our culture. We have pressure all around us to be like everyone else. Even though it may seem like everyone is sexually attracted to the opposite sex, this is not true. Some people are homosexual: they are attracted to people of the same sex. In some countries like Canada and the United States, there are gay men and lesbians in every occupation, leading successful lives.

When most of a person's sexual thoughts and activities are about people of the same sex, this person may be homosexual. Women who are sexually attracted to other women are called lesbians. Some people use the word "gay" to include both male and female homosexuals, but usually it is used for men only. People who are sexually attracted to members of the opposite sex are heterosexual, sometimes called "straight". Some people are attracted to both people of the same sex and the opposite sex; these people are bisexual.

People may feel strongly attracted to a person of the same sex. Someone can think and fantasize about people of the same sex without necessarily being homosexual. Young people, especially, need to explore their feelings.

Just because you are attracted to a person does not mean that you have to have sex with them. You may admire the person and or have a loving, caring, sharing relationship without sex. You do not have to be sexual with anyone until you are ready.

The stereotypes of homosexuals on television or in movies bother many people. Most gays and lesbians do not look or act any different from anyone else.
We do not know why people are heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. There are many theories but no clear answers. Many people have sexual fantasies about both sexes, and sometimes feel confused about whether they are gay or straight. With time and sometimes help from others, most people can sort out their feelings and sexual orientation.

If you think that you are gay or lesbian, it may be hard to tell others about your sexuality. You may feel afraid of losing friends or family members or your job. However, it may be a huge relief to tell even one person. But don't rush into it. Tell someone you really trust. And remember that it may take time for people to adjust and to deal with the news.

"Coming out" or telling others that you are homosexual is a life-long process; it's never finished. As you become more self- confident it will be easier to tell others. There might be support groups that you can join in your community.

If you are a parent or a friend of someone who has told you they are homosexual, you might feel disappointed, upset or worried. Try to deal with the news in a way which tells the person that you still love them and care for them. As a parent, you may have plans for your child's life, and this wasn't part of your plans. But being gay or lesbian isn't bad. Homosexuals are not sick and they don't need to change or be cured. It is important to support your child or friend now. That person trusts and respects you enough to confide in you. They need you. Your love and understanding will help them accept themselves as they are.

There are books on this subject. It may help to talk to someone you trust.You can also call a local Planned Parenthood organization or Public Health Unit.

Reasons for Condom failure

Condoms can fail to prevent pregnancy when they are:
Not used correctly
Used inconsistently
Broken during sex
Manufactured improperly
Damaged after manufacture Expired

Approximately 2 - 5 percent of condoms tear during use. The majority of these failures are caused by human error, which can include not using enough lube and creating microscopic tears with rings or long, sharp, or jagged fingernails, among other possibilities. Incorrect use includes unrolling a condom backwards, not unrolling the condom to the base of the penis, not leaving a half-inch of empty space at the tip of the condom, and not holding the rim of the condom down along the base of the penis when removing the penis after ejaculation. Inconsistent condom use means not using a condom every time you have sex, or not putting the condom on soon enough -- such as right before ejaculation instead of at the beginning of intercourse -- before the penis comes in contact with your partner's genitals. Any risk of pregnancy resulting from pre-cum on the fingers being transferred to a condom is unlikely. To be extra safe, a man could put on a condom at the very beginning of sexual play, rather than wait until you're ready for penetration. Condom failure may also be more likely if either of you have pierced genitals. If condoms break when used correctly, the tear is most likely due to hidden weaknesses in the rubber. These weaknesses may get past manufacturing regulation as some tests administered for strength and leaks are used to spot check a batch of condoms as opposed to testing each individual condom.

Birth Control methods

If a couple decides to have sexual intercourse, but doesn't want to start a pregnancy, then they can use birth control or contraception. What is best for one couple may not be suitable for another. There is no contraception that is 100% effective. However, some methods can be very effective if they are used properly.
Making mistakes or "taking chances" by not following instructions carefully makes any method risky.
Pregnancy can start almost any time. A woman can get pregnant,
-the first time she has sex
-in any position
-uring her menstrual period
- even if she doesn't have sex very often
- even if she doesn't have an orgasm
- even if her partner pulls his penis out of her vagina before he ejaculates or "comes"
- even if she doesn't have vaginal intercourse, if her partner ejaculates near the outside of her vagina.

These are some of the reasons why 85 to 90 of every 100 women who don't use birth control when they have intercourse get pregnant within one year. That's up to 90%! So, the question is, "Which method would we use carefully, every time?"

There are many types of birth control. Some can be bought at the drug store without a prescription, for instance condoms and foam or the sponge. For others, such as the diaphragm, birth control pill, IUD, cervical cap, Depo-Provera or Norplant, you must see a doctor or health care worker. Natural Family Planning requires cooperation and training for both partners. This is not the same as the old rhythm method, counting days on a calendar. Many people, after they are sure they don't want children in the future, consider permanent sterilization.

Another method of preventing pregnancy is not including sexual intercourse in your lovemaking. Many couples find that creative sexual stimulation is as exciting and satisfying as intercourse.

You may have heard of other methods of birth control. Withdrawing the penis just before ejaculation has a high failure rate. Breast feeding cannot be counted on to prevent pregnancy. Douching can actually speed the sperm on their way.
So, if you don't want to start a pregnancy, you need to choose an effective birth control method that suits you and your partner. Think about the following questions:
? What would you do about a pregnancy?
? How would your partner feel about it?
? How does your partner feel about birth control?
? Can you talk about it together?
? Could you cooperate to use a method of birth control?
? What will it cost? Will you and your partner share the cost?
? Are you protecting yourself and your partner against sexually transmitted diseases at the same time?
The type of birth control you choose now may not be the right method for you in a year, or even next month. As you and your lifestyle change, your birth control needs may change too. Some women have side effects with some types of birth control, and have to change methods. The best method is the one you will use correctly and safely.
If you want to talk with someone about birth control, you can call a local Planned Parenthood organization or Public Health Unit .

Using Condoms

A latex condom is one method of birth control and one of the best ways to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases. They can be bought at a drug store or clinic without a prescription or a doctor's examination.

Condoms, also called "rubbers" or "safes", are thin coverings usually made of latex, which fit over a man's erect, hard penis. They may be smooth or textured, lubricated, coloured or even flavoured. Latex condoms prevent pregnancy by keeping semen from getting into the woman's vagina. They also help prevent sexually transmitted diseases during both vaginal and anal intercourse.

Some people think that condoms interfere with sexual pleasure. However, latex ones are very thin so they do transmit body heat. Even if they do interfere, they provide great protection for both yourself and your partner -- a small price to pay to prevent unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease.

To be most effective, condoms should be used with "contraceptive" or "spermicidal" foam, jelly or cream, and another "barrier method" such as the cap,diaphragm or sponge, every time you have vaginal intercourse. Contraceptive foam, jelly and cream contain Nonoxynol-9 which kills sperm and some of the germs that cause sexually transmitted diseases. Note that the contraceptive foam is different from "feminine hygiene" products like douches and sprays. These other products are useless for birth control or preventing sexually transmitted diseases.

When people use a new condom with contraceptive foam correctly every time and the condom does not break or slip off less than one out of every 100 women will get pregnant.

Condoms are wrapped in individual packages. The condom must be removed and unrolled over the penis as soon as the man has an erection, before there is any contact between the penis and the vagina, anus or mouth. Early semen or fluid contains sperm, and can start a pregnancy even without ejaculation.
It is important to leave a space at the end of the condom with no air in it so that the semen or "come" can collect there. To do this, pinch the tip of the condom and hold it as the condom is rolled down the penis. A condom that is pulled too tightly over the head of the penis is more likely to break.

Use a fresh condom every time you have intercourse. Every package should have a date stamped on it; don't use the condom if that date has already passed. Don't leave them in a wallet, car glove compartment or other place that gets hot; heat damages the latex. Condoms that are old or damaged should be thrown away. But don't inflate the condom first to check it, as this can damage the latex also.

After the man ejaculates or "comes" he should withdraw his penis before he loses his erection. Hold onto the condom at the base to keep it from slipping or spilling.

For further information, you can call a local Planned Parenthood organization or Public Health Unit .

The Birth Control Pill

Birth control pills usually contain 2 female hormones called estrogen and progesterone which stop the ovaries from releasing an egg, or ovum. They also cause other changes in a woman's body which make pregnancy very unlikely. Used correctly, it can be more than 99% effective. "The Pill" does not protect against sexually transmitted diseases.
If a woman wants to go on The Pill, she has to get a prescription. The doctor will first ask questions about her health, her family's health and whether she smokes. If she starts, she will need to know exactly how to take it. She will not be protected from pregnancy for the first month, and should use a back-up method of birth control such as latex condoms with foam.
She needs to know which day to start taking the pills, and when to start the next pack. She will always start a new pack on the same day of the week. If she takes the first pill on a Sunday, she will always take the first pill of every pack on a Sunday.A woman who takes the Pill according to the instructions is protected from pregnancy every day.It is normal for menstrual periods to become lighter, or even for a woman to skip a period while on the Pill.

The Pill is most effective if it is taken properly. Here are some guidelines to follow:
1. Take the Pill at the same time every day. This keeps a steady supply of hormones in the body.

2. Pick a time of the day when you will remember to take the Pill, and when the pills will be handy, then stick to it. It is helpful to connect pill-taking with another activity, such as brushing your teeth or eating lunch.

3. If you are late taking a pill or forget to take a pill by four hours or more, take the pill as soon as you remember, but use a back-up method of birth control such as condoms and spermicide for the rest of the month. If you and your partner don't, you could get pregnant.

4. Other types of medicine such as antibiotics or antacids can stop birth control pills from working. If you are taking antibiotics or any other kind of medicine, even one that you got without a prescription, check with a doctor or pharmacist to see if it will affect the Pill. If it will, you and your partner will need to use a back-up method such as condom and spermicide while you are taking the other medicine. Also, if you are vomiting or have diarrhea you may not be protected from pregnancy. So you and your partner should use an additional method of birth control such as condom and spermicide for the rest of the month.
Many women notice some changes in their bodies when they go on the Pill. Tell your doctor or go to a clinic if any of the following changes are upsetting or a problem: nausea, headaches, breast tenderness, weight gain, spotting or bleeding during your cycle, irritability, depression or other mood changes. Some of these changes are no problem, and most of them go away in 2 or 3 months when the body gets used to the Pill. But some women may need to switch to a different type of pill, or use another method of birth control.
The Pill can cause very serious problems for some women, especially women who smoke. There is a slight risk of high blood pressure, blood clots, heart attack and stroke. Some women who have high blood pressure or diabetes may not be able to take the Pill.
The warning signs of serious problems when a woman is taking the Pill are severe abdominal pain or cramps; chest or stomach pain; shortness of breath; coughing up blood; severe headaches; pain, tingling, swelling or numbness in the leg; and blurred or temporary loss of vision. If you notice any of these signs, get to a doctor or clinic right away.
There is no evidence that the Pill causes cervical, uterine or breast cancer. Research on a connection between the Pill and breast cancer has not reached any conclusion yet. There is no evidence that taking the Pill will make it harder for a woman to get pregnant in the future.
Beneficial side effects of the Pill include having clearer skin, having shorter, lighter periods and less menstrual cramping, and a reduced chance of ovarian and endometrial cancers. Many women who get Pre-Menstrual Syndrome find the Pill helpful. There is some protection against breast and ovarian cysts. For many women, not having to worry about pregnancy makes sexual intercourse more enjoyable.
The Pill is a good method of birth control for many women. Remember, it will not protect against sexually transmitted diseases. If you start, be sure to remember to take it at the same time every day, and watch for the warning signs for serious problems! For more information, you can call a local Planned Parenthood organization or Public Health Unit .

Diaphragm And Jelly

The diaphragm is a soft rubber cup. It is worn inside a woman's vagina during intercourse. It must be filled with special jelly or cream which kills sperm. Then it is inserted at the back of the vagina, to cover the cervix -- the opening to the uterus or womb. It blocks sperm from getting into the uterus. If any sperm get around the diaphragm, they are killed by the jelly or cream.
Diaphragms come in different sizes. Each woman is fitted by a doctor or health worker to get the right size. Make sure you learn how to put it in correctly, know if it is in place and remove it. When it is in place, the woman and her partner usually can't feel it. If it is uncomfortable, then it may be the wrong size or inserted incorrectly.

For more information about the diaphragm, you can call a doctor or family planning clinic. Or, call a local Planned Parenthood organization or Public Health Unit -- see References/Resources.

The IUD

The IUD, or intrauterine device, is a small piece of plastic or copper, shaped like a T, which is placed inside a woman's uterus or womb by a doctor. The IUD causes a fertilized egg to leave the uterus during menstruation. It is very reliable: about 99% effective in preventing pregnancy. Once it's in, the IUD is good for 1 to 5 years, depending on the type.

An IUD may not be the best kind of birth control for everyone. Some women with IUDs notice changes in their bodies. These changes can include longer or heavier periods, more cramps, spotting between periods or heavier discharge from their vaginas. These often settle down after their bodies get used to the IUD, but some women decide to have the IUD removed.

For a few women, the IUD can cause serious problems. It is rare, but the IUD can push through the wall of the uterus. Also, if pregnancy occurs with an IUD in place, there is a higher chance of having a tubal pregnancy. But the most serious problem is pelvic infection.

The IUD has a thread on it which hangs down through the cervix. This lets a woman check that the IUD is in place, and makes it easy for a doctor to remove it. The woman should check with her finger every week during the first month after the IUD is inserted, and monthly after that. The IUD doesn't interrupt love-making, isn't messy and doesn't have to be remembered at the same time every day.

The IUD will not prevent sexually transmitted diseases. Sometimes bacteria, such as those causing gonorrhea or chlamydia, will travel up the thread into the uterus. So there is a greater risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease while an IUD is in place. The bacteria can cause a pelvic infection which can leave a woman infertile, that is, unable to get pregnant. However, this happens very rarely if a woman has only one sexual partner or practices safer sex. There is a greater chance of getting a pelvic infection if you have had a pelvic infection or a tubal pregnancy. Some doctors will not insert an IUD in a woman who plans to have children in the future.
A person you might feel abdominal pain and cramps at first. The IUD danger signs include unusual heavy abdominal pain or cramps, heavy bleeding, fever or chills, or unusual vaginal discharge. In case of any of these danger signs, or if you just want more information about the IUD, you can call a local Planned Parenthood organization or a Public Health Unit .

Natural Family Planning: Is There A Safe Time Of The Month?

Many people wonder if there's a safe time of the month when a woman can have intercourse without getting pregnant. There may be, but you can't know when just by guessing or counting days on a calendar. Pregnancy is possible the very first time a woman has intercourse and at any time during a woman's menstrual cycle, even during her period. Sperm can live inside a woman's body for several days.
Natural Family Planning or Fertility Awareness is not the old "Rhythm Method". It can be used to prevent pregnancy, and combined with other birth control methods for greater effectiveness.
Every month, a woman's body gets ready for pregnancy. An ovum or egg leaves one of her ovaries and travels down her tubes. If the egg meets a sperm, it is fertilized and a pregnancy starts. The egg leaves the ovary about 2 weeks before her period starts; however, this time can depend on things like illness, stress, travel or changes in diet. This means that the egg could leave an ovary a few days earlier or a few days later than usual. For some women this could happen during their period. Once the egg leaves the ovary, it can take a day to travel down the tubes. If it meets a sperm at any time, the woman can get pregnant.
You can see why just guessing or counting days on a calendar can't tell you when the chance of pregnancy is small. The method called Natural Family Planning teaches couples how to tell what days of the month are safest. They learn how a woman's temperature changes during her monthly cycle, how to take it and record it on a graph. They also learn how her vaginal mucus changes during her cycle. People need patience, cooperation and special training to use this method properly. There are courses in some communities for couples to take. You can also get books and pamphlets in libraries and Public Health Units.
If you are interested in learning more about natural family planning or birth control, you can call a local Planned Parenthood organization or Public Health Unit .

Sterilization For Men: Vasectomy

Vasectomy is a permanent method of birth control for men. It is a simple 15-30 minute operation which prevents the man's sperm from being released during sexual intercourse.
During a vasectomy, the vas deferens or tubes which carry the sperm are cut and tied. This prevents sperm from getting into semen. When a man has sex, he still releases semen, but the semen doesn't contain sperm. Therefore he can't start a pregnancy.
The operation is done in a doctor's office or the outpatient department of a hospital. A local anesthetic is used, numbing or freezing the genital area.
After giving the man an anesthetic, the doctor makes a small cut on each side of the scrotum, the sac which holds the testicles. The tubes which carry sperm are cut and tied, and small cut is sewn up.
Most men recover from a vasectomy in a day or two. There is pain and bruising, and he will need to take it easy at first. Ordinary pain killers are often helpful.
A vasectomy is not effective right away. There are still sperm in the tubes above the place where they are tied off. After about 6 weeks, the man needs to go back to his doctor to make sure that no sperm are getting into his semen. Until the doctor is sure this isn't happening, the couple should use another kind of birth control, like condom and foam, to prevent pregnancy.
A man's sex drive is affected by a hormone called testosterone which is produced in the testicles. This doesn't change because of a vasectomy. The penis and testicles are not affected. Only two tiny pieces of tubes are removed. Vasectomy is one of the most effective methods of birth control: over 99.9% effective.
You should not have a vasectomy unless you are sure that you will not want children in the future. There is no guarantee that a vasectomy can be reversed, although some men have had this done. The reversal operation is long and difficult and not always successful. Be sure before you decide to have a vasectomy.
For more information about vasectomy, you can call a local Planned Parenthood organization or Public Health Unit.

Sterilization For Women: Tubal Ligation

Sterilization for women, or tubal ligation, is a permanent method of birth control. The fallopian tubes which carry eggs from the ovaries to the uterus are closed off. This operation is often called "having your tubes tied". Some women stay overnight in hospital, while others have the operation done in the hospital's outpatient department.
Tubal ligation is nearly always successful, and very few tubes ever grow back together again. This makes it the most effective method of birth control: over 99.9%. After one menstrual period following the operation, a women can have intercourse without risk of pregnancy.
It "usually" does not affect her menstrual periods, or her sex drive. The uterus or womb is not removed; however, sperm can no longer reach the egg. Some women enjoy sex more when they do not have to worry about pregnancy.
A woman needs a general anaesthetic for this operation and time to recover after she wakes up. Therefore, there is a slightly greater risk with tubal ligation than there is with vasectomy for men. Vasectomies are done under local anesthetic, freezing the genital area, and do not require cutting into the abdomen.
Some women who have had a tubal ligation try later on to have their tubes reconnected, but it is a long and difficult operation and hardly ever successful. A woman should not have a tubal ligation unless she is sure that she will not want children in the future.
For more information, you can call a local Planned Parenthood organization or Public Health Unit -- see References/Resources.

The Morning After Pill and Post-Coital IUD

What can you do if the condom breaks? What can you do if you had unprotected sexual intercourse, and don't want to become pregnant? What can you do if you have been sexually assaulted? There is something to do if you act quickly.
The Morning After Pill is really four hormone pills. A doctor can prescribe them to a woman who has had intercourse once within the past 72 hours, or 3 days. It will not interrupt a pregnancy from a previous act of intercourse. And it does not protect you from pregnancy for the rest of your cycle. It affects the lining of your uterus or womb so that a fertilized egg can't implant.

The possible side effects can be spotting or bleeding from the vagina, cramps and diarrhea. These are temporary but may last several days. The bleeding is not a menstrual period. The period will probably come when it is due. If it does not, then the woman should have a pregnancy test. The Morning After Pill will not protect you from pregnancy for the rest of your cycle.
The effectiveness rate for the Morning After Pill is very high -- about 98%, especially if taken early; however, a woman should consider what she would do if it doesn't work. Then she may choose to have an abortion or continue the pregnancy.
Many doctors and clinics prescribe the Morning After Pill. You can often get it at the Emergency Ward of a hospital, which is open 24 hours a day. But call before you go to make sure.
The Morning After Pill is simpler than the second option in this situation: a post- coital IUD. Some doctors will insert an IUD in a woman after intercourse to prevent pregnancy. This can be done up to 7 days after unprotected intercourse.
For more information, you can call a local Planned Parenthood organization or Public Health Unit.

Norplant

Norplant is available in many countries around the world. Women who want a long-term method of birth control but may want to have children in the future might consider Norplant. If you chose Norplant, you would not have to remember to take the Pill every day, or to use contraceptive jelly or foam every time you had intercourse.
Norplant is a set of six small capsules or rods, about the size of matchsticks. A specially trained doctor makes a small cut in a woman's upper arm and inserts the rods just under the skin, in a fan shape. This takes 10 to 15 minutes. No stitches are needed, but a bandage will cover the area for a few days.
Once inserted, the capsules become effective within 24 hours, and prevent pregnancy for up to five years. They do not prevent sexually transmitted diseases.
The Norplant capsules release the hormone progestin, also present in many birth control pills. It stops pregnancy in three ways.
First, it helps prevent ovulation, or release of an egg each month. Second, it increases the thickness of the woman's cervical mucus. This makes it harder for sperm to enter the uterus or womb. It also decreases the thickness of the lining of the uterus, also called the endometrium. A fertilized egg needs to attach itself to a thicker lining.
Norplant contains no estrogen. It is therefore an option for women who cannot take birth control pills which have estrogen.
Even though they will work for five years, the capsules can be removed from a woman's arm at any time, for any reason. Removal is also done by a trained doctor. A woman can become pregnant shortly after the capusles are removed.

In the rare instance when a woman using Norplant does become pregnant, there is a slightly higher risk of ectopic or tubal pregnancy. There is no evidence that Norplant causes birth defects.
Many women who use Norplant experience side effects, especially during the first year. The most common side effect is irregular menstrual bleeding. Usually this means longer but often lighter periods, or bleeding between periods. Other side effects can include weight gain, acne, depression, headaches, hair growth and itching around the capsules. Very rarely, there is numbness in the arm around the capsules.
It is very important for a woman considering Norplant to talk to a counsellor. Counsellors can describe Norplant's advantages and disadvantages, possible side effects and suggestions for dealing with them.
Norplant is not a good choice for some women, including women who have liver disease, breast cancer or a history of blood clots. Women who are pregnant or think they might be pregnant should also not use Norplant.
For a woman who is well informed and who protects herself and her partner against sexually transmitted diseases, Norplant may be a good birth control method. For more information, you can call a local Planned Parenthood organization or Public Health Unit.

There is a female condom available in some countries. This gives the woman more control over her own protection. It is a pre-lubricated sheath of latex similar to the condom for men, but has a ring at the bottom end. The top end is closed, and fits over the woman's cervix like a diaphragm. The bottom end is open. It covers the labia, or lips of the pubic area. Like the condom, it is disposable.

Appropriate positions to conceive

Are some sexual positions better than others for conception?

Many experts suspect that the missionary position (man on top) affords the best opportunity for baby-making, though no definitive studies have been done on this question. This position allows for the deepest penetration and, as a result, places sperm closer to the cervix. For additional effectiveness, the woman can try elevating her hips with a pillow so her cervix is exposed to the maximum amount of semen.

Other possibilities (in case you get bored): > Rear-entry, when the man enters the woman from behind, either lying down or kneeling, can also deposit sperm close to the cervix. > Lying side-by-side — this can be a relaxing position (great for promoting good sex) and easier on a partner who is overweight or has a bad back.

Some clinicians also believe that a woman can further increase the likelihood of conception by remaining in bed for up to half an hour following intercourse, preferably on her back and, again, with a pillow under her pelvic region. In theory, this provides the sperm with additional travel time up to the Fallopian tube along with help from the forces of gravity. For women predisposed to getting urinary tract infections and advised to go to the bathroom immediately after intercourse, this is obviously not the best option.

And finally there is the issue of orgasm. His is an absolute necessity for conception, and now new research shows hers may play a role, too. The contractions that accompany the female orgasm may help carry sperm further into the cervix.

What are the worst sexual positions for conception? Experts recommend that you avoid having sex while sitting, standing, or with the female on top. These positions defy gravity and may discourage the upward mobility of sperm.

Are there any sexual positions that can help us conceive a boy or girl? Not that science has confirmed, but legends abound. According to one, having sex with the woman on top will lead to a girl.

Stages of Married life

While every union is unique, there are certain phases that most marriages go through. Each has the potential to either help a couple's relationship grow closer and more solid, or to pull it apart. What's important to keep in mind is that there is no perfect marriage and no relationship without conflict.

The Newlywed Bubble: The First Year of Marriage The Honeymoon's Over (The Early Years) From Lover to Mother (And Baby Makes Three) Life Changes — New Job, Moving, etc.

The Newlywed Bubble: The First Year of Marriage begins with a period of excitement. Negative feelings are swept aside by the optimism of both partners as they begin to share a future. These positive feelings help a couple face the often daunting issues of the first year. Money — who handles it and how it's allocated — is a key issue for many couples. Time apart versus time together, division of household responsibilities, even who controls the television remote, are among the issues couples must begin to hammer out. This is complicated by the fact that almost everyone enters marriage with preset ideas of what a marriage relationshipshould be, and often unconsciously tries to recreate their parent's marriage.
Danger: Ideas of what a marriage should be get in the way of true intimacy, forcing you to reenact roles instead of relating honestly to each other.
Opportunity: Acknowledge and let go of your learned ideas of what a marriage should be. Face down your preconceived notions of marriage and you can decide what really works for you, forming a good foundation for the next phases of marriage. Try this exercise.

The Honeymoon's Over (The Early Years) The early years of marriage can put both parties to the test. What simultaneously ambushes us and gives us opportunities to reach a new level of commitment is when we have expectations we're not even aware of. When that doesn't happen — because it can't happen, the past is past — we may feel let down. The struggle to get him to conform to that desperately cherished fantasy may be initiated at this point — and lead to a battle without ending, for he wants to be accepted as the person he is. Letting go of that ideal and accepting the person you married is essential to a healthy marriage. Danger: Locking into a bickering, critical relationship; holding your partner responsible for your needs.
Opportunity: By taking responsibility for your own needs and desires and trying to realize them through your own efforts instead of projecting them onto your spouse, you'll have more chance of getting what you want and avoiding the resentment that goes with unrealistic demands.

From Lover to Mother To go from being a person to being a mother is the major psychological shift for a woman. And to go from being a couple to being a family is also big. With the arrival of a child, the possibilities for conflict increase. Your needs zoom, so the chances for disappointment are great. The changes and adjustments that come with a baby can be overwhelming. In addition to the time-consuming demands of changing diapers and feeding, questions of who should shoulder which responsibilities, parenting styles, not to mention the issue of making room in the relationship for this seemingly all-consuming new priority, can all become battlegrounds. Becoming parents triggers new sets of unconscious expections, both about child-rearing and about yourselves. Unless both partners try consciously to create their own parenting style, there is a tendency to re-enact the same roles as their parents. Most men don't have fathers who cared for them when they were babies, and it's often easier to fall into the role of "workaholic" while the mother assumes the "nurturing" role. The child may also become an unwitting partner in an emotional triangle as resentments and unresolved problems slink out in strange forms.
Danger: Pre-programmed ideas of parenting roles interfere with forging a marriage and family style that works.
Opportunity: Create a strong healthy family that encourages all members to grow as individuals in a loving, supportive setting. Try this: Read and discuss childrearing books to break out of scripted roles and find effective ways to deal with your children's stages of development. Agree on family rules (never let children play one parent against the other) and consider having a weekly family meeting to discuss problems.

Life Changes — New Job, Moving, Etc. Children heading off to college, a woman's return to the workforce, retirement...even happy changes can shake up the equilibrium of a marriage. Probably the toughest changes to assimilate in traditional marriages (male as breadwinner; woman as homemaker), is when the roles shift. When a woman goes back to work after being a homemaker (especially if she becomes very successful), or a husband loses his job or retires, the couple has to readjust their expectations of each other. "Zack's heart attack meant it was time for him to retire. It's not always so easy to accept shifts in the status quo. It can be a howl of outrage from one partner when the other changes the fundamental agreement. This is especially true if the change is voluntary.. But without the distraction of the children, they may be forced to confront themselves and their own relationship.
Danger: Faced with stress and change, couples often withdraw from one another or blame each other for their own dissatisfaction. Opportunity: Change can stir a relationship into a new phase of intimacy as well as free each individual to develop in new ways: A traditional breadwinner who retires may be able to be closer to the grandchildren; a homemaker who returns to the workforce may enjoy achieving in a new arena. Try this exercise!

Enjoying Safer Sex

Enjoying Safer Sex Sexual intimacy does not necessarily include sexual intercourse. In deciding whether to engage in intimate sexual relations, including intercourse, you may consider cultural, ethical, religious, moral, and psychological factors as well physical ones.

Many people choose to abstain from sexual intercourse. People may choose varying levels of sexual intimacy. You should not feel pressured to engage in sexual intercourse or any other sexual activity; what is right for you is the level of sexual intimacy with which you feel comfortable, whether that means none, holding hands, intercourse, or any of a mind-boggling variety of other forms of sexual activity. Deciding to become sexually intimate with a partner can be a big step to take in a relationship, especially since, for many people, having sex involves an emotional commitment as well as a physical one. The decision to become sexually intimate with another person must also be considered in light of HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) that are prevalent among college students; many times infections may be asymptomatic, so someone may transmit the disease to another person unknowingly.

Becoming pregnant is also a fear in heterosexual relationships. Only a barrier method, like condoms or dental dams, can reduce the likelihood of the transmission of HIV and certain other STDs. Abstinence is the only completely effective method of preventing STDs, HIV and pregnancy. If you do choose to be sexually active, practicing safer sex, along with maintaining open communication with your partner, can reduce the risks discussed here.

Engaging in sexual intercourse can potentially be scary or dangerous ; discussing both the emotional and physical risks of sex and deciding with your partner how best to minimize those risks can be empowering and can make for an even more intimate sexual experience. Practicing safer sex doesn't mean eliminating sex from your life. What safer sex does mean is being smart and staying healthy. It means showing love, concern, and respect for partners and for self. Safer sex means enjoying sex to the fullest wi thout transmitting, or acquiring, sexually related infections. There are numerous sexually transmissible diseases; the consequences of some, like HIV and syphilis, may be deadly. All of them are caused by microorganisms which pass between partners during particular sexual activities. Safer sex means reducing the chance of acquiring sexually transmitted diseases, including AIDS.

Sexual Developement-Females

Puberty in Girls

Puberty is a time of many changes. A girl's body starts changing after about age 8. Many girls worry that they are not developing fast enough, or are concerned if they develop before their friends do. Remember, each person has her own timetable. Some girls start puberty early, and some start later.
Most of the changes of puberty are caused by chemicals called "hormones" that the body starts to produce. The main female hormones are estrogen and progesterone.
Breasts start to grow when a girl is between 9 and 13. Many girls are concerned about the size and shape of their breasts. Breasts come in many different sizes, so girls shouldn't worry if theirs are different from their friends'. One breast may grow more quickly than the other; however, they will be about the same size when they finish growing. Pubic and underarm hair will start to grow next.
Menstrual periods usually start between the ages of 11 and 15; however, periods can begin as early as 9 and as late as 17.
This is what causes a period: about once a month, a woman's body gets itself ready for pregnancy. The lining of the womb, or uterus, starts to thicken. About 2 weeks later, one of the ovaries releases an egg, or ovum. If sperm from a man's body does not join with the egg, that is, it is not fertilized, then the thick lining of the uterus is not needed. In about another two weeks, her body gets rid of this lining through the vagina. This is called having a period, or menstruation.
Many women are uncomfortable or have cramps during their periods. Exercise, a heating pad or hot water bottle, and a pain reliever can help. If these ideas don't work, ask a doctor or school nurse for help.
Periods usually last between 3 and 7 days. They may be longer or shorter, and bleeding may be heavier in some months than in others -- especially when you first start having your period. Many things can affect your period, such as stress or sickness or fast weight loss. After a while, most women find that their periods become regular. Once periods are more regular, they happen about every 21 to 35 days, or 3 to 5 weeks.
If a woman has intercourse then misses her period, she might be pregnant. If sperm joins with an egg a pregnancy begins. The fertilized egg attaches itself to the thick lining of her uterus and starts to grow. Her body does not get rid of the lining and she does not have a menstrual period.
The female hormones also cause a woman's vagina to produce a discharge or mucus. This does not hurt or itch or smell bad. However, if you have a discharge that does hurt or itch or smell strong, see your doctor; you might have an infection.
Pimples or acne are a common problem. Some suggestions are to wash with plain soap, not eat foods with lots of fat, not use skin moisturizers, and use lotions with benzoyl peroxide which can be bought without prescription at a drug store. A doctor may also be able to prescribe medication.
Body odour is caused by perspiration. Many people stop it by washing often with regular or deodorant soap and using deodorants.
Girls usually grow quickly between 10 and 13. After their periods start, most grow about another inch or 3 centimeters. Most reach their adult height by age 16.
Puberty may be a time of strong sexual feelings and fantasies. These feelings may be confusing or a worry or very pleasant. Daydreaming about kissing or sex, developing a crush, feeling romantic are all normal. Respect your body, respect yourself for what you are today, and demand respect from others.
If you want more information, you can read books on puberty. Or, talk with someone you trust. You can call a local Planned Parenthood organization or Public Health Unit -- see References/Resources.

Women's Sexual Organs

A woman's sexual parts are harder to see than a man's, so many people don't know much about them. Some women have been taught that this area of their body is dirty or ugly, and that it is shameful to touch it or talk about it. These parts are not dirty or shameful. Like any other parts of your body, the more you know about how they work, the easier it is to stay healthy.

It is useful to see what this part of your body looks like. You will need a small mirror to do this. Second, you will need some facts.

The whole area between your legs is called "the vulva". You will see two sets of lips, called "labia". After puberty, the outer lips have pubic hair growing on them. The inner lips vary in size and shape and colour. One lip may be larger than the other.Inside the lips are the clitoris and two openings. Starting at the front of the body, where the inner labia meet, is the clitoris. In adult women, the clitoris is about the size of the eraser on the end of a pencil. In some women, it is covered with skin and in others it is uncovered.
The clitoris is extremely sensitive and is the source of much sexual pleasure. Some women like to have it touched directly, when they are ready. However, others find this painful and prefer to have the area around the clitoris rubbed.

The opening closest to the clitoris is the urethra, where urine comes out. It is small and hard to see.
Next is the opening to the vagina. This is where menstrual blood and vaginal discharge come out, and where the penis goes during vaginal intercourse. Sperm travel up the vagina, through what's called the cervix, into the womb (or uterus). If it meets and fertilizes an egg, or ovum, a pregnancy begins. When a baby is born, it moves out of the uterus, down the vagina and out the same opening.
Inside the vagina there is usually a thin tissue called the "hymen". Other names for it are "cherry" and "maidenhead". The hymen can become stretched or torn by things like using tampons and having sexual intercourse for the first time. For some women, this can be uncomfortable and cause a bit of bleeding; others don't even notice it.

The opening further back is the anus. It is where bowel movements come out.
From puberty, girls will notice a vaginal discharge or mucus on their underwear. It is perfectly normal. It may be yellow or milky-white, watery or thick. The appearance and amount of this change at different times in a woman's cycle. These changes can help tell when she is most likely to get pregnant.
If the discharge has a strong or bad smell, if it itches, or if it is a strange colour, it could be a sign of an infection or a sexually transmitted disease. This should be checked by a doctor, as some of these are serious and spread easily.

To find out more about a woman's body, get books on the subject. Talk to someone: a parent, counsellor, or health care worker. Or, you can call a local Planned Parenthood organization or Public Health Unit .

Menstruation

Menstruation is natural. It is a sign of good health and fertility, or the ability to get pregnant.
Normally, a woman has a menstrual period about once a month, unless she is pregnant. This starts at puberty, between 9 and 14, and ends at menopause, between 45 and 55. The time from one period to the next is called a menstrual cycle.
During a menstrual cycle, the woman's uterus, or womb, builds up a thick lining of blood and nutrients to protect and feed a fetus. At the same time, a few of her eggs begin to ripen. Usually, one egg moves from an ovary into her uterus. This is called ovulation. If the egg is not fertilized by sperm, she doesn't get pregnant. In that case, she doesn't need the thick lining in her uterus. About 2 weeks later, the lining flows out through her vagina. This is called "a menstrual period".
A period usually lasts from 3 to 7 days. The heaviest bleeding is in the first days. You may feel tired during your period. This may be because your body is losing iron. To stop your body from losing too much iron, called "anemia", you can take a vitamin with iron.
To absorb menstrual blood, you can wear sanitary pads outside the body or tampons inside the vagina. If the bleeding is light, you can wear panty liners. These can all be bought at grocery or drug stores.
It is O.K. for both women and girls to wear tampons. They come in different sizes, so if you decide to wear them, you can find a size that is comfortable for your body. If they are inserted correctly, they can't be felt. They also can't get "lost" inside your vagina. A string attached to the bottom of a tampon makes it easy to take it out.
Tampons should be changed every four to six hours. Leaving a tampon in longer than that can allow bacteria to grow, andd lead to an infection called Toxic Shock Syndrome. This is very rare, but is very serious when it does happen.
Some women have a very regular menstrual cycle, every 27 days, for instance, or every 33 days; others have an irregular cycle. The cycle may be longer one month than another. This is also normal. Most cycles are from 21 to 34 days. The average is 28.
It is common for periods to be very irregular for the first year or so. Emotional upsets, illness, stress, gaining or losing a lot of weight, all can cause a woman's period to be late or even missed. A woman just starting the birth control pill may skip a period, or have spotting between periods for the first few months. Periods may change after pregnancy, or just with time.
A woman is as healthy during her period as she is at any time. She can shower or bathe, swim or exercise, have sexual intercourse, or do anything she would normally do. Most women have some cramping or pain the first day or two of a period. This can be relieved by exercise, a heating pad, or taking a pain reliever.
However, some women do need help for problems with their periods. Women may go to a doctor or clinic if they have such serious cramps that they can't go to school or work, or if the period is very heavy, requiring 10 to 12 pads a day for more than 5 days. Bleeding, spotting or cramping when she is not menstruating should also be checked out. And, if she misses a period and there is any possibility of pregnancy she should have a pregnancy test right away.
Remember, once you start having your period, you can get pregnant. So, if you have sexual intercourse and don't want to get pregnant, you'll need to use some form of birth control.
There are books which can tell you more about menstruation. You can talk to your mother, a school nurse or doctor. Or, you can call your local Public Health Unit .

Pre-Menstrual Syndrome or PMS
Pre-Menstrual Syndrome, or PMS, is what some people call the changes that women may experience during the days before their menstrual period begins.
The most common physical changes are headaches, feeling tired, craving certain foods, being unable to sleep, feeling bloating or heavy, and tender breasts. Some women also find that they might feel more depressed or sad, anxious, or irritable, that their moods just change more easily, or that it's more difficult to concentrate.
Not all women get PMS. Some women find that they have much more energy in the days before their period. They feel well and, sometimes, more creative.
Some women who do get PMS notice only some of these changes. For some, however, the symptoms are so severe that their ability to function is affected. But, there are some ways a woman might be able to make life easier during this time. Learn what brings on the symptoms. Stress and diet can be very important.
Try to avoid stressful activities as much as possible during this time of the month. Let family and co-workers know what PMS is like and you might make them more supportive and understanding. Some women have found yoga, meditation or other relaxation methods helpful. Avoiding foods high in sugar, salt and caffeine as much as possible, especially 10 days before the next period, is also helpful for some women.
Eating several small meals a day rather than three large ones helps keep a steady amount of sugar in your blood. Eating foods high in potassium, such as bananas, nuts, milk and spinach, and plenty of carbohydrates, such as whole grain bread, cereal, pasta, potatoes and fruits, helps replace vitamins and minerals that your body needs.
Regular exercise throughout the month is helpful, and may also release stress and tension. Get plenty of rest.
You can try keeping a record or chart of your menstrual cycle, and physical or emotional changes. This may help you predict how you will feel, and see if doing anything differently affects the PMS. It may help you have more control, and may be useful when you talk to a doctor about your pre-menstrual changes.
Some women have even started support groups. Do you know other women who might be interested in this idea? Is there a women's centre in your area that could help you start up a group?
For more information, you can call your local Public Health Unit -- see References/Resources.

Menopause

Menopause, or sometimes called the Change of Life, is a normal part of a woman's life. It usually starts between the ages of 45 and 55, and means the end of fertility, or the ability to get pregnant.
Menopause brings a woman new freedom, freedom from menstrual periods, needing to use contraceptives, or fear of pregnancy.
The last periods of a woman's life may be irregular and gradually taper off or just stop. But unusual bleeding or cramps should be reported to a doctor right away. Menopause may take a while to complete. Until it is complete, a woman can still become pregnant. If she is sexually active and doesn't want to start a pregnancy, she should use birth control until at least a year without a period.

Menopause occurs because the ovaries produce less of the female hormones. It may take a while for the body to adjust to this. Most women notice some changes in their bodies, but aren't bothered by them. Some women have physical or emotional changes that seem uncomfortable.
A common discomfort of menopause is having hot flashes or flushes. These are caused by an overreaction of blood vessels in the skin. A short sensation of intense heat travels from the chest to the head. The woman may sweat heavily, and feel cold afterwards. This can occur when she is awake or asleep.
The vagina gradually becomes drier and thinner, and sexual intercourse may therefore become uncomfortable. Lubricating jelly bought at a drug store or a vaginal cream with estrogen, prescribed by a doctor and used before intercourse, can help prevent discomfort.