Homosexuality: Being Gay or Lesbian

It's hard to be different in our culture. We have pressure all around us to be like everyone else. Even though it may seem like everyone is sexually attracted to the opposite sex, this is not true. Some people are homosexual: they are attracted to people of the same sex. In some countries like Canada and the United States, there are gay men and lesbians in every occupation, leading successful lives.

When most of a person's sexual thoughts and activities are about people of the same sex, this person may be homosexual. Women who are sexually attracted to other women are called lesbians. Some people use the word "gay" to include both male and female homosexuals, but usually it is used for men only. People who are sexually attracted to members of the opposite sex are heterosexual, sometimes called "straight". Some people are attracted to both people of the same sex and the opposite sex; these people are bisexual.

People may feel strongly attracted to a person of the same sex. Someone can think and fantasize about people of the same sex without necessarily being homosexual. Young people, especially, need to explore their feelings.

Just because you are attracted to a person does not mean that you have to have sex with them. You may admire the person and or have a loving, caring, sharing relationship without sex. You do not have to be sexual with anyone until you are ready.

The stereotypes of homosexuals on television or in movies bother many people. Most gays and lesbians do not look or act any different from anyone else.
We do not know why people are heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. There are many theories but no clear answers. Many people have sexual fantasies about both sexes, and sometimes feel confused about whether they are gay or straight. With time and sometimes help from others, most people can sort out their feelings and sexual orientation.

If you think that you are gay or lesbian, it may be hard to tell others about your sexuality. You may feel afraid of losing friends or family members or your job. However, it may be a huge relief to tell even one person. But don't rush into it. Tell someone you really trust. And remember that it may take time for people to adjust and to deal with the news.

"Coming out" or telling others that you are homosexual is a life-long process; it's never finished. As you become more self- confident it will be easier to tell others. There might be support groups that you can join in your community.

If you are a parent or a friend of someone who has told you they are homosexual, you might feel disappointed, upset or worried. Try to deal with the news in a way which tells the person that you still love them and care for them. As a parent, you may have plans for your child's life, and this wasn't part of your plans. But being gay or lesbian isn't bad. Homosexuals are not sick and they don't need to change or be cured. It is important to support your child or friend now. That person trusts and respects you enough to confide in you. They need you. Your love and understanding will help them accept themselves as they are.

There are books on this subject. It may help to talk to someone you trust.You can also call a local Planned Parenthood organization or Public Health Unit.